Dealing with the Death of a Dog

February 4, 2019

For most dog owners, a dog is not just an ‘animal in the house’, but a much-loved family member with whom they share an intense bond, love and companionship; joy and fun. Dealing with the death of a dog can subsequently be a devastating experience.

Grieving the Loss of a Dog

Able to add structure to your daily life and keeping you social and active, dogs can help you overcome life’s challenges and setbacks and even give you a sense of meaning and purpose. Loving, loyal and ‘there for you’ no matter what, they can be exceptionally helpful (i.e. service or therapy dogs), outstanding co-workers (service dogs) and, in some cases (this especially applies to elderly owners), someone’s only companion in life.

Losing such a cherished friend can naturally leave you with a devastating sense of sadness and grief. Often feeling overwhelming, this pain of loss can trigger all kinds of difficult and painful emotions. While everybody responds differently to loss, the experienced level of grief often depends on:

Your own age & personality
Your dog’s age
The circumstances of his/her death

Generally speaking, the more significant your dog was to someone, the more intense their emotional pain will be. The role a dog played in someone’s life can also make a difference.

If, for example, the dog was a service, therapy or working dog, the owner may not just grieve the loss of a beloved companion, but a loss of independence, emotional support or a co-worker.

For someone living on their own, the loss of their only companion can be even harder to deal with, and if your dog had to be put to sleep because you were unable to afford expensive treatments that may otherwise have prolonged your pet’s life, this grief may be added to by a profound feeling of guilt.

Grief Over the Loss of a Pet

The first thing to remember when trying to cope with the loss of your dog is that your grief is very real and personal to you. In other words, even if others fail to understand your pain and the depth of your feelings, you should never feel ashamed or guilty about grieving for your beloved pet or think it is inappropriate to grieve for a canine companion. But choose who you share your grief with carefully.

Secondly, it is important to realise that the experience of grief is highly individual. For some, grief comes in stages with feelings experienced including denial, anger and guilt; depression and, in time, acceptance and resolution. For others, grief is a more cynical experience that comes in a succession of lows and highs, or waves. Here, the lows are usually longer and deeper to begin with and will gradually become less intense and shorter as time passes.

Finally, grieving is a gradual process that cannot be rushed or forced – and there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ time frame for getting over such a devastating loss. While some people start feeling better with a matter of weeks, others may take months or even years to get over losing their companion. However you experience grief, it is of utmost importance to give yourself all the time you need and patiently allow this process to unfold naturally – and be prepared for special anniversaries, sounds, sights or thoughts triggering strong feelings of grief even years after your loss.

Tips on Dealing with the Death of a Dog

In the meantime, the following tips may help you deal better with losing your beloved furry friend:

Be sure to face, actively deal with and express your grief. ‘Bottling up’ your feelings (i.e. ignoring or trying to keep your pain from surfacing) will simply make matters worse and prolong the agony. Expressing your grief by talking to someone sympathetic (a fellow animal lover) or even writing about your feelings, on the other hand, can reduce the time you need to heal.
If your friends/family or even partner are not sympathetic about your loss, reach out to other people who have lost their dog instead. Someone who has lost a dog themselves can often understand what you are going through better, so check out relevant message boards online, pet loss helplines or support groups (for details, see our Resources section below).
Rituals can aid healing, so consider allowing yourself and other family members to express your/their feelings openly by having a funeral ceremony for your beloved dog. This is all about what is right for you, so ignore the opinions of those who may feel pet funerals are ‘inappropriate’.
Create a legacy. Compiling a scrapbook/photo album, planting a tree in honour/memory of your cherished pet, preparing a memorial or sharing precious memories of your dog and the time you enjoyed together allows you to create a legacy celebrating your four-legged companion’s life.
Look after yourself. Losing your dog causes a great deal of stress that can rapidly deplete your emotional and energy reserves. Helping you get through this traumatic time, looking after your emotional and physical needs includes:

Spending time with friends, family and others who care about you
Eating a balanced, healthy diet
Exercising regularly to increase release of endorphins & boost your mood
Getting plenty of sleep

Finally, other pets you have may get distressed due to your sorrow. They may also experience loss and grief themselves when a companion dies. Help them (and yourself by elevating your mood and outlook) by maintaining their usual routine as much as possible or even increasing play/exercise times.

If your grief over your dog is persistent and/or interferes with your daily life (i.e. your ability to properly function), it may be necessary for a mental health professional/doctor to assess you for depression, so do seek professional help if you think you may need it.

More Advice

Specialising in helping pet owners give their dogs the peaceful, pain and stress-free end they deserve, we can also provide advice on how to deal with the loss of your dog and available pet loss support. To learn more, please feel free to contact us online today.