Dogs, like people, can experience feelings of loss and grief when a companion passes away. While not all dogs show obvious signs of grief to us (just like with pain, we sometimes just do not notice their signs and, depending on their personalities, some dogs simply take matters in their stride), many do. If your dog shows such signs after losing a friend, there are ways of helping a grieving dog that will help him cope with and get over – or at least learn to live with day by day – his loss.
Signs of Grief in a Dog
Losing a fellow dog, a person or indeed any other pet your dog has been used to and spent a lot of time with can not only cause a sense of loss within him but is also typically associated with a disruption in his routine, which distresses him even more.
What’s more, he may also pick up on your/your family’s grief and subsequent behaviour changes, which could be equally distressing and confusing for him.
Such feelings of loss, distress and confusion may lead to your dog displaying signs including:
- Loss of appetite
- Crying
- Searching
- Changes in his sleep pattern
- A need for more attention
- Generally sad comportment
There may also be lethargy and occasionally even illness. Some dogs become bored and anxious when a companion they slept and played with passes away. This can occasionally lead to aggressive (towards other animals/pets and/or humans) or destructive (digging, chewing, defecating/urinating in inappropriate places, and so on) behaviour.
If your dog considered his/her departed friend a leader, he/she may also feel that he must now take on that leading role. If this is the case, he/she may, for instance, start acting more outgoing/confident and/or bark more at passers-by, visitors, etc., and if your household includes multiple dogs, the packs’ members may start competing for leadership, which could involve outbreaks of aggression and unprovoked fighting among them.
Helping a Grieving Dog
As changes in their routine are distressing for dogs even if they seemingly have no reaction to losing their companion, the first – and perhaps THE most important and effective – way of helping your dog is to maintain his/her usual routine as diligently as you can.
Maintaining his/her usual feeding, walking, playing and training schedule is not only extremely effective in reducing your dog’s distress but can also help manage your own grief and stress better.
Other ways of helping your dog through this difficult time include:
Providing Extra Exercise & Mental Stimulation – Losing a companion he/she slept and played with can, as we mentioned above, leave your dog feeling bored and anxious. Extra exercise & mental stimulation can help him/her with this.
You could, for instance:
- Go for more or longer walks with him/her
- Give him/her plenty of interesting (puzzle) toys to play with
- Play more fetch/tug-of-war games with him/her
- Start attending obedience and/or other training classes with him/her
Giving him/her extra bonding time, cuddles and lots of loving is also incredibly effective, as is praising him/her for calm behaviour and ignoring undesirable behaviours (i.e. crying, waiting /searching).
As utterly heart-breaking as watching your dog sit and wait in hope for his/her lost companion to return is, you should, for instance, try not to give him/her any attention while he/she waits, as this will simply encourage him/her to carry on waiting.
It is best to either let him/her be or encourage him/her to come away from his/her ‘waiting-spot’ and play/have some bonding time with you instead.
Getting a New Companion for Him/Her – When you lose a dog, well-meaning but misguided people will often tell you to go out and replace your lost pet with another one straight away. However, this is not necessarily the right way to go, and before you take this step, you should ask yourself these two questions:
Am I ready for this? There may have been some significant changes to your life since you had your first dog. Your working hours could, for instance, have changed or you may have had children. New dogs invariably require lots of commitment and plenty of work – make sure you (and your family) are ready to take on this kind of commitment and choose a breed wisely that matches your lifestyle.
Is my dog ready to accept another companion? Your dog may have been inseparable with his/her now lost friend, but this cannot guarantee that he/she will get on equally well with a new dog. Arranging ‘play dates’ with a diversity of other dogs and/or taking him/her to a dog park will give you a better idea of how he/she will react to another dog before you permanently bring a new one into his/her home.
If you believe you and your beloved pet are ready to welcome another dog into your home and family, do let your dog help you pick his/her new friend.
Many breeders allow you to bring your dog to meet & interact with their pooches, as will many shelters.
Letting your furry friend meet potential new friends like this gives you – and him/her – the best possible chance of success in finding the ideal new companion for him/her.
Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support
If you have any questions about helping your dog overcome his/her grief or simply need someone understanding to talk to, get in touch with the Blue Cross’ Pet Bereavement Support Service. There to help grieving pet owners from 08:30 to 20:30 (every day), the service can be contacted by telephone: 0800 096 6606, e-mail: pbssmail@bluecross.org.uk or online.